The Life and Thoughts of a Girly Girl mom

I read everything! Well, just about everything. If it interests me I'll read it.

Couple years ago (maybe 1) I read Tommy Lee's Tommyland. It was one of the most enteraining books I have read. Think I read it in the matter of a couple days. Was hilarious at times (to where I actually laughed out loud) to insiteful and at times sad. After I decided to read the Motley Crue book The Dirt. Again very intersting tale of how they came to be, where they were/are from and how life was being lived on up to today. I've been hearing about Nikki Sixx publishing the Heroin Diaries for a couple years now and couldn't wait to pick it up.

Well, I got it Thursday night and am almost done with it. I've never done drugs before, not those types. I've known people who have dealt with addiction. Lost a couple friends because of it. Not dead, but they are only a shell of who they were.

I must say that everyone should read it. It's a good, intersting book. I knew addiction took over your life, but didn't realize how much so. It also gives insite into the man he is today. It's also got me thinking about things in my life.

His new band Sixx AM has a "soundtrack" that goes along with the book and that is one of the most rocking albums I have heard in a looooooooong time. The music is good and the lyrics go along well with the book and to be honest, life in itself for anyone.

Not trying to have this be a book review, but...since starting the book I've look at my life and some of the things I may of done or haven't or would of done differently. It's weird how onle little sentence, phrase, song lyric can evoke your thought process to all different ways. My dreams have been more intersting and intense since starting the book...I got clarity on a relationship I had on and off for 4 yers. I've been thinking more about what my cousins went through and how their addictions controlled their lives for so many years, and how, even though sober, still do. Also, to Mark and how if I could get him to read the book or listen to the lyrics it may give him the help he needs to be the Daddy Steven wants him to be.

I've been tagged to write my 6 of my favorite things. Wow, you'd think this would be easy, but it's not because I'm sure I have to write out why they're my favorite things. I could do the standard: friends, family, etc....but why be normal (since when have I ever been that?). So, let me think for a minute....or 2. Ok, enough thinking. I'm just going to start typing and what comes out will be my top 6.

I know love is one of them. Without love, what would the purpose of life be? The purpose for doing what we do, even the things we don't want to do or like to do? Without love we would have nothing. For me love is not just a word, feeling or emotion, but a verb, an action, something we do. Like the Clint Black song says....it's not just something we say, but something we do. Think about it? When your significant other first tells you they love you, how do you feel? What about your reaction? Or when you finally realize that you are in love? It's a reason for why you do what you do, act the way you do. What about the love of your child? That unending, unconditional love? It can also be as simple as loving a song...what happens when you hear your favorite song on the radio? You tell everyone that you just love that song. You turn it up, sing along, dance to it. Love is simple, yet complex and one of the reasons why it's one of my favorite things.

Books. I enjoy reading and is my top favorite way to relax and spend time. I don't know what I would do without books. Watch tv all the time? Maybe get more done around the house. I like getting lost in a story, taken away from my day to day and into someone else's adventure for a bit. One can find me reading at least several books at one. If I am in the middle of one, forget it at home when I'm out, I'll go buy another one to read. It's the best (and least expensive way) for me to spend my lunch hour at work. I read everything...fiction, non-fiction, books to learn more about a certain subject, my spirituality, how to be a better person, cook books, blogs, news, silly myspace questionares.

Music is another favorite thing of mine. I'm always listening to something. My Uncle Jack summed it up for me in a graduation card he wrote to me....Mozart to Metallica (even though I'm not a huge fan of theirs...overplayed). Classical music is great as background music for dinner, to relax to, to fall asleep to. Fank Sinatra...nothing else needs to be said there. Steve Vai...need I say more on him? Rock of any kind...Alternative, Metal, Thrash metal (only live though), Hard Rock. Some Top 40 stuff. Holiday Music. Country (not all of it though). House/Techno (great to clean house to). Oh and how could I forget live music!!! That's the best. Nothing like seeing and listening to music live. Either from a small bar to a sold out arena. Music, to me, is also a mood changer. The right song can lift me up from a bad mood, give me energy, relax me, bring back memories, or make me cry (there are those songs).

Wow! 3 more to go. This isn't as easy as I thought!

My spirituality. Most don't agree with it, but it's what works for me and makes me feel whole and who I am. I don't really consider myself Christian, though I believe Jesus was here. I believe in God as a holy being. I believe that as long as you believe in some sort of higher being, it shouldn't matter what He (or she) is called. I believe in a Goddess. In order to have life and balance there needs to be a male and female entity, a god and goddess. My beliefs are more in the old ways, pre-Christianity. I don't believe in Satan or blood sacrifices (even those where done before) or the evil that some religions have. There is evil in this world and some of the gods were demonic, but...what is known today as Satan I don't really belive in. I believe in respecting what we have and what we use and take from the Earth, Mother Earth. She provides to us like a mom to her child and we need to love, protect and take care of her. I believe in living by the Wiccan Creed: Do as ye will, Yet harm none. Think of it like the 10 Commandments. Every religion brings something to someone, a sense of being, belonging, love, whether is Christianity, Wicca, Judaism, Buddism, etc. Religion is one of those things that every person gets something different out of.

5 and 6 are can be considered to be the same: Friends and Family. My friends are my family and my family can be my friends.

Many of my friends I have had a very loooooooooooooooong time and are very close to where we are a family of sorts. We have been through many ups and downs, separations. These are the people to who we may not talk in awhile, but when we do it's like no time has passed at all. We may even have our own little words that can bring out the biggest laughing fits possible to where no one else understands.

Amy: friends for 21 years. How to sum it up to where no one, but those who really know her, will understand....Hi, this is Amy and I really need to talk to Tracy, it's very important! My mom would get it out of her and it would be that the latest Bon Jovi video came out and was playing on MTv right then. "Amy's blushing"...."I have to go to the bathroom"....Basketball. Untamed. Mom to 4 and married to Clay (sorry no picture)

Cathi: friends for 18 years. Poison & Warrant...."...but Tony's going" to Jody, "but Jody's going" to Tony. Sharing a brain. Life in Hell. Boone's. "Only if you 2 do". The Cave. Red and Blonde. Mom. Married to Bobby

Jennifer: friends for 18 years. Where to begin...our first conversation..."Hey, you went out with Eric, right? I was going out with Tom." Bad knees. Mom, married to Damon.

Floe: Friends for 18 years. The nicest asshole you'll ever meet. One of my best friends. Quiet, yet says a lot. New dad. Married to Dawn.

Jody: Friends for 18 years. He's the opposite of Floe. More vocal, opinionated and more in your face about things.

Dawn: Friends for 6 years. Floe's wife. New mom. One of the nicest people I know and fits right in.

Damon: Friends for 8 years. He's been around a lot longer than that, but we tolerated each other rather than being friends. We put our differences aside one night and had a true heart to heart and have been friends ever since. Married to Jennifer. Dad

Bobby: Friends for 6 years. Known him since high school, but became part of the family when he started dating, then marrying Cathi. He's the one who taught Steven about peeing on trees when no one else would. Dad

Janessa: Friends for 24 years. Carden West. Goonies. Cyndi Lauper. Throwing shoes. The creek.

Emily: Friends for 9 years. Neighbors. Opposites. Sisters by choice. Moms.

Lisa: Friends for 9 years. Neighbors. Moms.

Tiffany: Friends for a year. This is a weird one. She's is mom to Cierra (Mike's daughter) and an ex-girlfriend to Mike and now one of his best friends. We look at the family dynamic of our family as a bonus family. There isn't going to be any step anything, but bonus, which is what we all are...a bonus to each other. She is goofy, upbeat, a blast to be around and throws some great parties...espcially when Mrs Claus makes an appearance (learn more about her, log on to my myspace).

Mike: Boyfriend. My love. My friend. He's taken on Steven as one of his own. For this I love him much for. We're a lot alike, yet have enough differences to make life interesting and fun. He's goofy, silly, obnoxious at times and makes me laugh like no other. We mesh well together and fit perfectly for snuggling.

Steven: My son, 7. My blonde hair, blue eyed boy. Without him I don't know what I would do. He's kine, gentle, loving, caring, stubborn, sensitive, smart, creative, silly, funny, all around good boy. He's a mix of me and his father. I am very proud of his accomplishments this year and his recent report card and parent/teacher conference. He got the Magnificiant Mathmetician Award at school the other day. He's also a very accomplished reader (he tells me he can't and won't read to me...so imagine my surprise when his teacher told me he's in the 2nd highest reading class. He's also gotten 100% on every spelling test so far this school year. He's also my engineer and will put together Geo Tracks or train tracks that are complicated and look and figure out what goes where and what part is needed if it doesn't all fit. He's also the one who wants to know how something works, is put together and what each part is called. He's also the caring one. At school one of his friends was having a bad day and getting picked on, no one would play with this boy. Steven goes up to him, puts his arm around him and says "let's play" (as told to me by his teacher). He's also my observer...he likes to observe before jumping right in to something. Of course, by the time he's ready to, it's time to leave. He is my snuggly love bug, who gives the best hugs in the whole wide world...and is working on his shoulder rubs.

Cierra: Almost 14, Mike's daughter. This is my favorite 13 year old. She's smart, funny, a lot like her dad and I am happy to call her one of my bonus children. I am still learning about her. She has a great heart, especially when it comes to animals. She is going to be a veterarian when she grows up. The other day I did my first "dropping the kids off at the mall" drive! I couldn't believe it. Took her and one of her friends to the mall, gave her $20 and told her to call when ready to come home. I had to call my mom about that one. Was a very strange and proud feeling.

Joe: 10, Mike's oldest boy. This is my favorite 10 year old. He is Mike in many way and another of my bonus children. We have our problems, but we also get along well and I listen when he talks about whatever it is he has to say. He frustrates me at times as he thinks he's older than he is or tries to be. He's smart, athletic (great soccer player and good with the football). He is funny and goofy. Helpful when he wants to be. My Guitar Hero partner in crime. We'll spend hours playing together. He is the one that has had the hardest time adjusting to his dad and I and the fact that his parents aren't going to be getting back together. We have talked about this in depth, me and him. He goes back and forth at times, but is coming around. I just assure him that I'm not here to replace his mom, but to be a bonus to him, as he is a bonus to me.

Wesley: 5, Mike's youngest boy. My favorite 5 year old boy. My other bonus boy. He is cute, ruthless when he wants to be, a fireball, wants to be the big boy and baby at the same time. He's my little tackler, fighter, snuggler. The dimpled one. He's in kindergarten and is having a blast. Everyday, for the last 2 weeks of summer he asked if he was going to school the next day. He loves it and is doing well. Him and Steven get along well. They have their fights but are happy to see and play with each other.

Megan: 12, my niece. My favorite 12 year old girl. I've known her since she was 15 months old and while I haven't spent as much time with her in recent years as I'd like, she is still very important to me. She is afterall the first child to worm her way in to my heart.

Justin: almost 4, my neohew. My favorite almost 4 year old boy. Even though his uncle and I divorced before he was born, he is still my nephew. He's the happiest baby I know. We call him the OSHA baby...at 2 he would point to your lap if you didn't have your napkin in it when eating or to your elbows if they were on the table.

Summer and Shea: Mike's nieces. They right away called me Aunt Tracy and introduce me to their friends that way.

Eva & Joey: Mike's sister and her boyfriend. OH! To be young and in my early/mid 20's again! But knowing what I know now. LOL

My parents: Do I need to say anything more about them?

In no means is this complete. As I'm typing more comes to mind...health, the ability to cook (which I love to do), my home...the new Kirby Mike got...my sense of humor and ability to laugh. The beach and being outside.

* * I will be adding more pictures, but it was brought to my attention that I was tagged and need to post. * *